He wanted to capture my chest, it was so tight that it was difficult to get rid of it, if I had not worn jeans, it would have been raped.

Mother would save herself first then me. Since childhood, in my village I saw girls pulling sardines, hitting their chest, saying sister-in-law, picking up, holding hands… all. All this was as normal as eating our daily food.

Even today I cannot forget the misbehavior that happened in my childhood. I hated the male caste so much that even my father started feeling bad. When the anger of past experiences came out, Usha's voice could not stop.

34-year-old Usha tells Woman Bhaskar, 'I am from Basti district. Father is carpenter. She was about five years old when she came to Lucknow. Once there was a fight, the father left the house.

People started telling a relationship with the one whom mother used to call brother. Mother brought us to Nani's house. When the daughter comes to her maternal home with the son-in-law, the respect that she gets, this time the mother did not get it. The world treats a woman left by her husband like a dumpster. Something must have been missing, only then the husband left as the comments started to be heard.

When I went to school for the first time, I arrived early. She sat down on the sack. When the master came, he taught nothing but started asking me – where did your father go? I don't know where my father went, I didn't say anything at that time. Seeing all the children including the master laughing, she ran away. That was my first and last day at school.

We were spending the day with noon, roti, chutney when my uncle came looking for us and brought us to Lucknow. It is learned that Papa is in Ayodhya. He was also brought to Lucknow. As soon as he came, he gave a loud slap to the mother. I started crying after entering my mother's sari.

Father's friends started keeping an eye on mother

The father's insistence was to take the mother to Mumbai. But mother did not want to go there. On the persuasion of Fufa ji, Papa started living with us in Lucknow. Soon we became four sisters and one brother. Everything from water to water had to be bought in the city.

The father is naive by nature and his friends leeched. Whenever the mother went out to buy something, the father's friends started keeping a bad eye on the mother. Seeing the opportunity, to force with the mother, not the father, to enter the house. I was watching since childhood how my mother fought to save herself.

I did not get books till class 12, read it after asking others. When the number of sisters and brothers increased, poverty also increased. Decided that now I will teach. A small piece of land was bought by selling mother's jewelry and shifted from rented house to her small house near Madiyahun police station.

Started teaching children with an institution. There a boy also started coming to teach, he became good friends. It never felt like anything would go wrong for me in his mind.

He was nudging me and saying I love you

In the organization where I was working, the voucher has to be submitted at the end of the month. The boy said that I have forgotten my voucher home, you will go with me. Even before this I had gone to his house many times, he used to stay alone. As soon as I entered his house, he closed the door. I was drinking water when suddenly one hand felt tight to my whole body.

Even then I thought he was joking, but he started forcing me. I started scratching. I love you, started saying it. Started tearing my jeans. Started hitting my chest. I was trying very hard to save myself. I didn't understand.

I had read the news of rape in the newspaper, when such an attempt happened to me, I was shocked and all the news published in the newspaper came in front of my eyes in a moment. If I had not worn jeans that day, I would not have survived. I had put a belt on the jeans, due to which the pants did not open from it. I gave her a hard kick and slapped her and ran away.

There is no point in being educated if not safe

I was saved but the experiences I had seen from childhood put me in trauma. If I had a seizure, I would have killed my father or threw something away. Would cut it People used to think that the goddess has come upon me, so they would hold me by the hair and make me sit in front of the exorcist. Burning chili. I started screaming because of its smoke.

When I turned 19, I told my mother about the rape attempt. Then Papa's anger boiled over and said- 'Saale ko maroon se jaan se, dare kaise hui ki huski, tujhe haath lan ki.' I told the father that I have to do nothing but work on the safety of the girls. It was understood that if we are not safe then education has no meaning.

I formed a group of 15 girls. Rally, protest and go wherever it is wrong with the girls. We registered the organization in the name of Red Brigade in 2011. This Red Brigade name also got its name thanks to the boys.

When we girls went out to play wearing red color of struggle and black color of protest, boys would say - 'Oh red fairies are going, roses are going, someone said what is the matter - Powerful Red Brigade is going', Just on this comment we made the name Red Brigade.

The name of the organization was found, but the indecent, lewd comments with the girls were not stopping. 11-12 girls used to come to me from far away to study, in their support we had asked for van and started asking for money for children's education. Where those girls used to sit, a bunch of boys would come and make lewd comments. The girls got fed up and one day the brigade of those boys ran and beat them a lot.